just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize