I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize