addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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