At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
