I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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