Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
third nipple confirmed
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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