I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
