Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
