He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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