Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
