I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
