i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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