he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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