Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sorry about my life...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize