idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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