yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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