Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
