No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
