I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
