i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
