Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
