i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
