if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This house was built for laser tag.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
