i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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