Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
