people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
