Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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