i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
