He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
