i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
