He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
