I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Randomize
