All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
soo... how was my night?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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