ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
