I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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