he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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