I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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