The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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