I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
