your room smells of hookers.
And success
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
