I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
