i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
