Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
