You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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