dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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