i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
