After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize