hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
