even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize