why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
