no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
