Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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