I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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