I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize