just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
