i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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