Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
