You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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