fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
