this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
