I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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